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About Varied / Artist Premium Member Chloe18/Female/United Kingdom Groups :iconegyptian-deities: Egyptian-Deities
Egyptian Mythology fans welcome!
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Important Notice

I am currently on a break from DeviantART due to problems in my personal life and on DeviantART itself. I don't feel like I can cope with the internet right now on top of everything else that is going on. Please forgive me for this. But I need to sort out my mental health. My physical health has also declined quite badly and I am bed bound a lot more than I ever was and my quality of life has gotten worse. I just feel I need to DEAL with this by myself before I can return on here. Thank you so much for understanding. And again please forgive me. You MAY catch me posting the occasional few photos on SunTinged my photo account whilst I'm on my break. I may come back in a few hours, days, weeks or months. Or maybe not at all. I'm not sure yet. But all I do know is that I need to deal with this more life changing illness that has greeted me for the last 3 months on top of all my other diseases. Please try to understand, thank you :heart:

Notice!

Journal Entry: Mon Apr 7, 2014, 5:38 AM

As of May the twenty first, deviantART will be deleting ALL dA accounts. Not the plz accounts though. But just all name-wasted accounts, or accounts that we think are fake, or that are useless. We are doing this to prevent something that could possibly may happen in the future. If we find this message on you're deviantID, journal, etc. We will know that you are not a fake.

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Brief list of the gods I can remember at the top of my head, more will be added to this list over my time here! Thank you for reading! :D

*******************

Amun, Re/Ra, Thoth/Djehuty, Ma'at, Horus/Heru, Osiris/Asar, Isis/Aset, Wosret, Set/Seth, Hathor, Sekhmet, Bastet/Bast, Nephthys, Nut, Geb, Shu, Tefnut, Khonsu, Sokar, Montu, Satis, Nefertem, Min, Ihy, Wadjet, Seshat, Bes, Aten/Aton, Hapy, Khepri, Nun, Ptah, Tawaret, Ammut/Ammit, Apis, Duamutef, Heka, Maahes, Imsety, Qebehsenuef, Shezmu, Wepwawet, Heket, Serqet, Nekhbet, Mut, Unut

Would Be Better If I Wasn't Around

Tue Apr 22, 2014, 1:48 PM
This is really becoming apparent to me right now. Everyone's lives, my families lives, my friends lives and acquaintances lives would become a lot, LOT better without me here.

All I do is get in their ways, my illnesses take over their lives as well as my own. They get angry with me and tell me I'm too much to deal with. That I should just swallow it and deal with it. I don't feel like I can tell anyone anything at all anymore. When I rant about personal things to certain trusted DA users I am told I AM the bad one, and the selfish one for ranting about the things I'm ranting about. They get fed up of me ranting about my illnesses, tell me to shut up, go away or stop moaning. And I'm starting to realise no one actually wants me around. I'm too much to deal with, to negative even though I try my absolute hardest to be positive.

If I could choose, I wouldn't have my two lung diseases, arthritis, this new heart problem, dyspraxia and my depression and anxiety. Do people really think I want these things? The only reason I talk about them so much is because I panic inside otherwise. It's a coping mechanism. When you have to live with so much pain and discomfort every day of your life…it gets too much sometimes…But if I could choose…I'd have none of it. My family could have such better lives without me in it. Without reminding me every 5 seconds to take medicines because my dyspraxia makes me forget, without have to comfort me all the time, check on me, get my wheelchair in and out of places, walk with me everywhere incase my illnesses take a turn for the worst. Stay with me when I have panic attacks and have self harm episodes…


I wish of course that people didn't have to be around me all the time. But sadly my two lung diseases are ones that get worse as the years go by. Resulting in permanent oxygen, a lung transplant and for quite a few sufferers, death. So if I have a good spell it's not for long at all. My depression makes me get very upset at anything people say to me. And I understand people getting fed up with me. But I honestly feel it'll be so much easier for everyone else if I wasn't around :'( Truly I stopped breathing LOADS when I was young, sometimes I wish sometimes God just took me. Instead of making me live through this life of pain. I've fallen out with so many people, had friends run away and never talk to me again, that's what happens the second they find out about my illnesses and how much my life is limited. Right now I'm really not sure how much more I can take this. I am having trouble with my step mum (In a previous journal) and problems with future choices on top of my illnesses. I am sorry for rambling but I really can't cope right now. The urge to self harm and do something worse is really strong right now. :'(

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:icondazzy-p:
Thanx for faving!
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:iconnileheart:
NileHeart Mar 10, 2014   General Artist
No problem! :D
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:iconnileheart:
NileHeart Mar 10, 2014   General Artist
Oh thank you! What's the hug for? :)
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:iconjustplaincoolguy1973:
I know you're going through a lot of health issues.  I've been through my own, and I just wanted to offer my support.  Hang in there, kiddo.
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:iconnileheart:
NileHeart Mar 10, 2014   General Artist
Aww thank you, that's kind of you
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(1 Reply)
:iconjulaia:
JuLaIa Mar 6, 2014  Student General Artist
hi! thanks for the fav :)
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:iconnileheart:
NileHeart Mar 6, 2014   General Artist
No problem! You deserved it :D
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:iconxxdanceswithwolvesxx:
XxDancesWithWolvesxX Mar 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I like your new Username!
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:iconnileheart:
NileHeart Mar 5, 2014   General Artist
Thank you very much hun! :hug:
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:iconahkilah:
Ahkilah Mar 4, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm glad you like your username! c:
Reply
:iconnileheart:
NileHeart Mar 4, 2014   General Artist
I absolutely love it! Thank you!
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:iconxcamorothnacarax:
XCamorothNacaraX Mar 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Eeeeeee! Thanks! :D
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:iconnileheart:
NileHeart Mar 3, 2014   General Artist
No problem! :D
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:iconhewylewis:
You like Satis, eh?
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:iconnileheart:
NileHeart Jan 29, 2014   General Artist
I do!
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:iconaztecatl13:
lol I always confuse you with this girl: :iconegyptfreak:
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:iconnileheart:
NileHeart Jan 28, 2014   General Artist
Haha aww similar usernames ;) I can see why! 
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:iconahkilah:
Ahkilah Jan 25, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
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